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Showing posts with label In the Mood for Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label In the Mood for Love. Show all posts

Monday, December 17, 2012

The Secret & The Tree, The Tao of Gizmo

The Tao of We

"Sometimes we are the secret, and sometimes we are the tree."

Moonrise Kingdom
I wrote this in a loose discussion prompted by Moonrise Kingdom in May. Sometimes we are the secret, and sometimes we are the tree. Moonrise Kingdom illustrates the case where we are both: the confidence and the confidant.

It jostles slightly that it was no tree after all. Memory failed. It was a portion of stone building in In the Mood for Love that I pulled the analogy from. But the idea remains: sometimes we are the secret, sometimes we are the tree.

Wong & Doyle mesmerize

Sometimes we are both. Sometimes we are neither. The aim is to eschew the cases where we are knowingly neither and knowingly don't want either to be.


A few months ago, I went into the ocean with someone wearing a Gizmo shirt. It made me want to go back and watch Gizmo in Gremlins, a movie I haven't seen in unknown years. After watching, it seemed apropos the person wearing the shirt was wearing the shirt--a genuinely good and honest person, and I wrote a friend about the Tao of Gizmo.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Dis-Integrating | For the love of pancakes . . .

What am I doing here?
_____________________________

Paro Taktsang Monastery, Bhutan
Right now, I'd like to be here. Away from thought. Away from noise. Away from stimulus. Away from the world.


I just want to be. And do. I don't want to think. Ruminate. Digest.

Just act. Experience.

I want to go hike. My body tells me first I must eat. I want to be beyond all that. Those things that tie me to the form.

Integrating or disintegrating, I want to be outside of feeling inside.

And I ask myself: what am I doing here, in this space. With these words and these thoughts. Carved out in ether.

And the answer is always this:
Angkor Wat

Whether my secrets be held in by mud or not. Whether they be secrets at all.

Artist's struggle. Human struggle. This is life.

And I want to live. Not watch.
-|jaMMXIIcpy|- © Jn Anise 2012

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Thursday, July 12, 2012

To Live & Fuck Up in LA

"I am seeking. I am striving. I am in it with all my heart." -Vincent van Gogh

I've been in LA nearly 9 months now. And it's been a good time: open, productive, inviting. I've loved LA. I love LA. It took 3 visits to stick, but it feels like home. And during these 9 months, I have made an unseemly number of blunders. One after another. My time in LA has essentially been a long series of wonder and fuck-ups layered together.

9 months: a dense, condensed fish bowl experience of "normal" time. Almost like a college "year." Slightly unreal but also full of the hard lessons--the ones you need to learn.

I have made mistakes on the job, with friends, with others, and mostly with myself.

On the Wall
© 2012 Jennifer Anise
And that's life for you. Missteps. Good times. Change. Growth. Recognizing your hindering patterns. Deciding to change (them).
I've mentally chalked these 9 months as a gestation period, in the hopes that I'm about to emerge fully (re-)formed. An Athena springing forth from Zeus's head. Jennifer 3.0.

Saturday, July 09, 2011

Imploding

You know that song "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp"? Well, it's hard out here for anyone. I try to stay thematic and impersonal, but I'm imploding. Constantly. Regardless of what may seem to be.

It is hard. It is hard to stay focused in a vacuum. Encouraged in a desert. With the loom of bankruptcy around you. Human, artistic, societal, financial--pick your pleasure. With everyone hedging their bets, offering little support, giving you no outlet, being political. Or just plain unmoved or uninterested. Even your own friends, acquaintances, collaborators. It's like having the oxygen cut off on your breathing tank. All I get is the air of "What can you do for me?" Or worse, "Can I get into bed with you?" Agendizing. Networking. Strategizing. I don't feel the personal in it.